Chapter Twelve--The truth about Josh Clarke---Angels Among Us/The Blessing
Chapter 12
The truth about Josh Clarke
Josh Clarke had never thought that he would be faced with anything as terrifying as he had on the day of the accident. He cared about Elizabeth so much and he had been telling the truth when he had told her that he hadn’t thought about saving her, he had just done it. There was something about her, and it had taken him an incredible amount of time to find out what attracted him to Elizabeth.
She was incredibly head-strong. Perhaps it was losing people in her life who she cared about so much. She really valued human life; more than most people. The only reason Josh could think was because she knew that anything could happen at any time. That, at any time, someone you care about with all your heart, mind and soul, can leave this world and never come back. He had never experienced death before, and it had taken him a while to realize that it was because of that saddening experience that she was the person she was.
It was because of the personal sacrifice in Elizabeth’s life; having to endure the heartache of losing loved ones, the Josh didn’t hesitate with his response to seeing the truck advancing towards the car, spinning out of control. She meant so much to him, and since they had been friends for what seemed like forever, it was like they were family. Elizabeth was at Josh’s house constantly; and if she wasn’t at his house, he was at her house. They did everything together; school, talking, homework, social activities, parties. The after-football-game parties were the best.
People at school thought that they were an item. Elizabeth had received numerous comments in the lunch room or in classes; saying either that she and Josh were perfect for each other or exclaiming that they were denying the fact that they were really together. At first, Elizabeth would laugh at the prospect or angrily defend her position that they were just ‘friends’ and that not every group of one guy and girl were necessarily ‘dating’. However, after a while, it got so old, she just began to ignore it.
Josh had experienced the same thing. Even though he defended his thought that Elizabeth and he were friends, and would always be, he knew that he wanted her. That had been one of the reasons that he had thrown himself on top of her. She thought that he had done it because she was his friend, and that was partially true. However, it was also because he cared about her more than she thought.
Because of that, he was iffy on whether or not she had bought his excuse; or at least, he thought it was an excuse. She had seemed uncertain, but for now, it would have to suffice. She would figure it out eventually; when the time was right.
It was because he felt like Elizabeth was so different from other people because of her experiences, that he was surprised when he met Vanessa. Here was a girl, different life, different ambitions, yet, he almost immediately saw the similarities in the both of them. They had the ability to have a worn look on their faces that showed they had gone through things that no one should ever have to go through. Yet, when Elizabeth introduced Vanessa to Josh, she was smiling and so was Vanessa, and he saw the same thing in their faces. The look of relief that something happy and great was happening, instead of something awful and heartbreaking. When Josh would learn why Vanessa was here and what had happened in her life so far, he would understand why she was like Elizabeth.
“Josh? This is Vanessa. Her friend, Chad, is coming in a minute.”
Josh slowly sat up. He looked like he was still in a world of pain and it hurt Elizabeth to see it.
“Hi, Vanessa.”
“Hi.” Was Vanessa’s reply. Her voice seemed small and high pitched in her ears. She knew why she was so nervous. She was worried that she would have to see this or something worse, when she would see Mike.
“Vanessa, “continued Elizabeth, “is here to see her friend who is here.”
“Why is he here?” Josh asked, directing the question to Elizabeth as well as Vanessa. Elizabeth looked at Vanessa uneasily. She didn’t want to tell Josh and seem so open over the subject while Vanessa was in the room.
“I’ll tell you later, okay?”
Josh nodded. Just then, Chad walked into the room
“Oh,” said Elizabeth after an odd pause, “Josh, this is Chad, Vanessa’s friend.”
Chad’s first initial reaction was the same as Vanessa’s had been; what if Mike looked like this. The damage to Josh looked horrendous. Chad could tell that Josh had taken a double beating, because he had saved Elizabeth’s life. Then, he asked a question. He didn’t mean to say it out loud; and he didn’t realize he had until it was too late.
“Why does this kind of thing happen? I mean, it just doesn’t seem right that it happens to all the people who don’t deserve it. The people who make a difference in the world or have lived through unbelievable circumstances go through more than those who are bad and who deserve it. People like Ma-.”
Chad stopped short. He was about to say Max. However, he had been like Max before. He realized that he really had been bad and caused pain. Then, he thought about all the people he had teased or hit. He wondered how much pain, physical or not, they had been in. The guilt that had hit him after seeing Vanessa and then Mike hit him all over again. He just wanted to go and say sorry to all those people; tell them that he didn’t know what they had gone through and that he hadn’t thought that something really bad would happen.
However, all the people in that room; Josh, Elizabeth, and Vanessa, looked like they understood. Chad thought they were doing it just to make him feel better. He was beginning to feel more and more like people’s reactions and facial expressions weren’t the truth; and that the world was shunning him. Anger erupted from deep inside of him; anger that had been held inside too long.
“You guys don’t have to act as if you understand! Alright? I get it now! I know that the way that I used to be was bad, ok? And I know that people didn’t exactly like me. But you don’t have to act like you understand or that you think my behavior is ‘normal’, alright? I know my mistakes, so if you don’t agree with me, don’t act as if you do!”
Chad took a deep breath and looked at the floor. When he raised his head, all eyes were on him. He had expected them to look angry or disappointed; anything but how they did look. He realized them that, even though he had let them know about not agreeing with him, it would have to sink in. Then, Vanessa spoke softly,
“We aren’t saying stuff just because we feel guilty. Human’s make mistakes, okay?”
Elizabeth supported Vanessa’s statement by nodding her head slightly. But Chad wasn’t going to buy it that easy,
“You might, you might not. But I feel that way. It is like the whole world, including you guys, is against me or something. And don’t tell me that you aren’t, because I’ve already heard all that stuff. I don’t care whether people are or not, I feel that way. I-.”
“You know what?” Vanessa began, cutting Chad off, “That’s your problem! It’s you, you, you! I thought that when you were being nice when you would ask the doctors about Mike and would be all nice to me, but I should have known better. You couldn’t have changed your selfish ways so quickly. But you know what? It was mean; you acting as if you cared. You don’t know, do you? How would you have reacted if you had been in my place? Or in Elizabeth’s, even? If you had watched someone struggle to live or watched someone you knew almost kill your best friend, how would you feel? In a way, I am glad that I’m not you. Because if I was, I would hate the feeling of the guilty conscience you must have right now.”
With that, Vanessa left. Chad stood there for a second before running out after her. As the door slammed, Elizabeth and Josh looked at each other, dumbfounded. Elizabeth was the most shocked of them all. When she had met Chad and Vanessa, she had thought that they had been really good friends, considering the fact that Chad had seemed so compassionate after Vanessa had fainted.
The truth about Josh Clarke
Josh Clarke had never thought that he would be faced with anything as terrifying as he had on the day of the accident. He cared about Elizabeth so much and he had been telling the truth when he had told her that he hadn’t thought about saving her, he had just done it. There was something about her, and it had taken him an incredible amount of time to find out what attracted him to Elizabeth.
She was incredibly head-strong. Perhaps it was losing people in her life who she cared about so much. She really valued human life; more than most people. The only reason Josh could think was because she knew that anything could happen at any time. That, at any time, someone you care about with all your heart, mind and soul, can leave this world and never come back. He had never experienced death before, and it had taken him a while to realize that it was because of that saddening experience that she was the person she was.
It was because of the personal sacrifice in Elizabeth’s life; having to endure the heartache of losing loved ones, the Josh didn’t hesitate with his response to seeing the truck advancing towards the car, spinning out of control. She meant so much to him, and since they had been friends for what seemed like forever, it was like they were family. Elizabeth was at Josh’s house constantly; and if she wasn’t at his house, he was at her house. They did everything together; school, talking, homework, social activities, parties. The after-football-game parties were the best.
People at school thought that they were an item. Elizabeth had received numerous comments in the lunch room or in classes; saying either that she and Josh were perfect for each other or exclaiming that they were denying the fact that they were really together. At first, Elizabeth would laugh at the prospect or angrily defend her position that they were just ‘friends’ and that not every group of one guy and girl were necessarily ‘dating’. However, after a while, it got so old, she just began to ignore it.
Josh had experienced the same thing. Even though he defended his thought that Elizabeth and he were friends, and would always be, he knew that he wanted her. That had been one of the reasons that he had thrown himself on top of her. She thought that he had done it because she was his friend, and that was partially true. However, it was also because he cared about her more than she thought.
Because of that, he was iffy on whether or not she had bought his excuse; or at least, he thought it was an excuse. She had seemed uncertain, but for now, it would have to suffice. She would figure it out eventually; when the time was right.
It was because he felt like Elizabeth was so different from other people because of her experiences, that he was surprised when he met Vanessa. Here was a girl, different life, different ambitions, yet, he almost immediately saw the similarities in the both of them. They had the ability to have a worn look on their faces that showed they had gone through things that no one should ever have to go through. Yet, when Elizabeth introduced Vanessa to Josh, she was smiling and so was Vanessa, and he saw the same thing in their faces. The look of relief that something happy and great was happening, instead of something awful and heartbreaking. When Josh would learn why Vanessa was here and what had happened in her life so far, he would understand why she was like Elizabeth.
“Josh? This is Vanessa. Her friend, Chad, is coming in a minute.”
Josh slowly sat up. He looked like he was still in a world of pain and it hurt Elizabeth to see it.
“Hi, Vanessa.”
“Hi.” Was Vanessa’s reply. Her voice seemed small and high pitched in her ears. She knew why she was so nervous. She was worried that she would have to see this or something worse, when she would see Mike.
“Vanessa, “continued Elizabeth, “is here to see her friend who is here.”
“Why is he here?” Josh asked, directing the question to Elizabeth as well as Vanessa. Elizabeth looked at Vanessa uneasily. She didn’t want to tell Josh and seem so open over the subject while Vanessa was in the room.
“I’ll tell you later, okay?”
Josh nodded. Just then, Chad walked into the room
“Oh,” said Elizabeth after an odd pause, “Josh, this is Chad, Vanessa’s friend.”
Chad’s first initial reaction was the same as Vanessa’s had been; what if Mike looked like this. The damage to Josh looked horrendous. Chad could tell that Josh had taken a double beating, because he had saved Elizabeth’s life. Then, he asked a question. He didn’t mean to say it out loud; and he didn’t realize he had until it was too late.
“Why does this kind of thing happen? I mean, it just doesn’t seem right that it happens to all the people who don’t deserve it. The people who make a difference in the world or have lived through unbelievable circumstances go through more than those who are bad and who deserve it. People like Ma-.”
Chad stopped short. He was about to say Max. However, he had been like Max before. He realized that he really had been bad and caused pain. Then, he thought about all the people he had teased or hit. He wondered how much pain, physical or not, they had been in. The guilt that had hit him after seeing Vanessa and then Mike hit him all over again. He just wanted to go and say sorry to all those people; tell them that he didn’t know what they had gone through and that he hadn’t thought that something really bad would happen.
However, all the people in that room; Josh, Elizabeth, and Vanessa, looked like they understood. Chad thought they were doing it just to make him feel better. He was beginning to feel more and more like people’s reactions and facial expressions weren’t the truth; and that the world was shunning him. Anger erupted from deep inside of him; anger that had been held inside too long.
“You guys don’t have to act as if you understand! Alright? I get it now! I know that the way that I used to be was bad, ok? And I know that people didn’t exactly like me. But you don’t have to act like you understand or that you think my behavior is ‘normal’, alright? I know my mistakes, so if you don’t agree with me, don’t act as if you do!”
Chad took a deep breath and looked at the floor. When he raised his head, all eyes were on him. He had expected them to look angry or disappointed; anything but how they did look. He realized them that, even though he had let them know about not agreeing with him, it would have to sink in. Then, Vanessa spoke softly,
“We aren’t saying stuff just because we feel guilty. Human’s make mistakes, okay?”
Elizabeth supported Vanessa’s statement by nodding her head slightly. But Chad wasn’t going to buy it that easy,
“You might, you might not. But I feel that way. It is like the whole world, including you guys, is against me or something. And don’t tell me that you aren’t, because I’ve already heard all that stuff. I don’t care whether people are or not, I feel that way. I-.”
“You know what?” Vanessa began, cutting Chad off, “That’s your problem! It’s you, you, you! I thought that when you were being nice when you would ask the doctors about Mike and would be all nice to me, but I should have known better. You couldn’t have changed your selfish ways so quickly. But you know what? It was mean; you acting as if you cared. You don’t know, do you? How would you have reacted if you had been in my place? Or in Elizabeth’s, even? If you had watched someone struggle to live or watched someone you knew almost kill your best friend, how would you feel? In a way, I am glad that I’m not you. Because if I was, I would hate the feeling of the guilty conscience you must have right now.”
With that, Vanessa left. Chad stood there for a second before running out after her. As the door slammed, Elizabeth and Josh looked at each other, dumbfounded. Elizabeth was the most shocked of them all. When she had met Chad and Vanessa, she had thought that they had been really good friends, considering the fact that Chad had seemed so compassionate after Vanessa had fainted.
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