Chapter Nine--What doesn't kill us makes us stronger---Angels Among Us/The Blessing
Chapter 9
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger
Elizabeth Hudson had experienced a hard life. But it was that hard life that made her the kind, strong person she was. The long string of terrifying events had started on September Eleventh, 2001, when her father had been killed. Most people had watched the twin towers fall and said, ‘Thank God that no one I knew were in the buildings or in one of those planes’. But Elizabeth hadn’t been one of those people. Her father, a very successful business person, had been on one of the planes that had been hijacked. And that was only the beginning.
The next thing that happened was not necessarily awful, but the results would tear Elizabeth apart. When the war in Iraq started, her oldest brother, Ian, had just graduated from high school. He decided to enlist and was gone and deployed in what seemed like just a day. Everyday, Elizabeth would pray to God to keep him safe. And, for a while, God seemed to do just that; until the next year. Elizabeth’s other brother, Derek, decided to follow in the courageous footsteps of his older brother and enlist also. Now, Elizabeth had two people to pray for at night.
For a while, God seemed to watch over the Hudson brothers, until the beginning of Elizabeth’s eighth grade year. She was doing her homework after school when someone knocked on the door. She went and answered it. There, on the doorstep, were two very official-looking men, standing there, sullen, in their military uniforms. Elizabeth could still recall calling her mother to the door and then watching her mother fainting. When her mom got back up, she told Elizabeth what had happened.
Ian and Derek had been working together when a suicide bomber had blown himself up while standing in between them.
Elizabeth had felt like God had betrayed her. She had prayed so fervently to God to bring her brothers home safe. And God hadn’t listened to her.
It had torn the Hudson household apart. Elizabeth and her mother didn’t talk to each other for days. They had trouble eating. Elizabeth didn’t go to school. Her mom didn’t go to work. For two weeks, life was a blur; Elizabeth and her mom went through life like zombies.
But what really woke up Elizabeth from the zombie-like state she was in was what she attempted two and half weeks after she had gotten the horrific news. She went up to her mom’s bathroom and got the pills that her mom sometimes used for an occasional case of amnesia. She grabbed the bottle and opened it. She dumped the remaining pills into her hand and swallowed them.
She was lying on her bed, listening to music and waiting for the pills to kick in and end the miserable life she was leading, when a certain song came on. And the refrain went like this:
“I’ll be your crying shoulderI'll be love suicideI'll be better when I'm olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your life”
Something happened at that moment. At first, the lyrics had made it sound like the first line said “I’ll be your crying soldier” instead of the actual lyrics. And that did it. She would later find out that it was “I’ll be your crying shoulder”, but that didn’t matter. Just the fact that the words “soldier” and “crying” were in the same stanza of a song was enough. She began crying. For her mom, her brothers, her dad and herself. That’s when she realized something. Her father and brothers wouldn’t want her to do this to herself. And as she thought of it, what her mother do if she lost another love in her life? Elizabeth went to the bathroom and stuck her finger down her throat. As she saw the pills swirl down the vortex of water as the toilet flushed, she felt as if all the despair and hopelessness that had overwhelmed her for just about half-an-hour ago leave her. And not just her. But the whole world.
And that’s when she made a vow to herself. She would live her life for her brothers; two people who never made it past their twentieth birthdays. Everything she did, she would do for them.
And that’s what she was thinking about as she stood in front of her best friends’ hospital room. ‘I have to be strong for Ian and Derek’ she thought. ‘And for myself’ she added a few minutes later, when the doctor came out and said that she could go in and see him now. She was so nervous for what she would see when the door would open. But then, she remembered what Vanessa had said. About how they had both gone through the same thing. She looked at Vanessa and received a reassuring smile and nod. She nodded in return and walked in.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger
Elizabeth Hudson had experienced a hard life. But it was that hard life that made her the kind, strong person she was. The long string of terrifying events had started on September Eleventh, 2001, when her father had been killed. Most people had watched the twin towers fall and said, ‘Thank God that no one I knew were in the buildings or in one of those planes’. But Elizabeth hadn’t been one of those people. Her father, a very successful business person, had been on one of the planes that had been hijacked. And that was only the beginning.
The next thing that happened was not necessarily awful, but the results would tear Elizabeth apart. When the war in Iraq started, her oldest brother, Ian, had just graduated from high school. He decided to enlist and was gone and deployed in what seemed like just a day. Everyday, Elizabeth would pray to God to keep him safe. And, for a while, God seemed to do just that; until the next year. Elizabeth’s other brother, Derek, decided to follow in the courageous footsteps of his older brother and enlist also. Now, Elizabeth had two people to pray for at night.
For a while, God seemed to watch over the Hudson brothers, until the beginning of Elizabeth’s eighth grade year. She was doing her homework after school when someone knocked on the door. She went and answered it. There, on the doorstep, were two very official-looking men, standing there, sullen, in their military uniforms. Elizabeth could still recall calling her mother to the door and then watching her mother fainting. When her mom got back up, she told Elizabeth what had happened.
Ian and Derek had been working together when a suicide bomber had blown himself up while standing in between them.
Elizabeth had felt like God had betrayed her. She had prayed so fervently to God to bring her brothers home safe. And God hadn’t listened to her.
It had torn the Hudson household apart. Elizabeth and her mother didn’t talk to each other for days. They had trouble eating. Elizabeth didn’t go to school. Her mom didn’t go to work. For two weeks, life was a blur; Elizabeth and her mom went through life like zombies.
But what really woke up Elizabeth from the zombie-like state she was in was what she attempted two and half weeks after she had gotten the horrific news. She went up to her mom’s bathroom and got the pills that her mom sometimes used for an occasional case of amnesia. She grabbed the bottle and opened it. She dumped the remaining pills into her hand and swallowed them.
She was lying on her bed, listening to music and waiting for the pills to kick in and end the miserable life she was leading, when a certain song came on. And the refrain went like this:
“I’ll be your crying shoulderI'll be love suicideI'll be better when I'm olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your life”
Something happened at that moment. At first, the lyrics had made it sound like the first line said “I’ll be your crying soldier” instead of the actual lyrics. And that did it. She would later find out that it was “I’ll be your crying shoulder”, but that didn’t matter. Just the fact that the words “soldier” and “crying” were in the same stanza of a song was enough. She began crying. For her mom, her brothers, her dad and herself. That’s when she realized something. Her father and brothers wouldn’t want her to do this to herself. And as she thought of it, what her mother do if she lost another love in her life? Elizabeth went to the bathroom and stuck her finger down her throat. As she saw the pills swirl down the vortex of water as the toilet flushed, she felt as if all the despair and hopelessness that had overwhelmed her for just about half-an-hour ago leave her. And not just her. But the whole world.
And that’s when she made a vow to herself. She would live her life for her brothers; two people who never made it past their twentieth birthdays. Everything she did, she would do for them.
And that’s what she was thinking about as she stood in front of her best friends’ hospital room. ‘I have to be strong for Ian and Derek’ she thought. ‘And for myself’ she added a few minutes later, when the doctor came out and said that she could go in and see him now. She was so nervous for what she would see when the door would open. But then, she remembered what Vanessa had said. About how they had both gone through the same thing. She looked at Vanessa and received a reassuring smile and nod. She nodded in return and walked in.
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